Wanna be my friend?

Making friends as an adult seems to be trickier than I imagined.

I'm not just talking work friends, don't get me wrong work friends are great, but I'm talking about friends who you can say, "muthaeff my boss, all I did was Pinterest and tweet today" and never have to worry about it being leveraged against you, they just cheers you and say "guuuuurl. preach."

So how do you meet these non-work friends? Do I just creep on them at the gym and be all, "You do lunges? I do lunges too. We have so much in common lets do a HH and totally become BFFs!" I'm gonna go with probs not.

I think most of the people in my life would say I'm pretty good at making friends. When put into a social situation I can hold my own in a conversation and I can usually find the natural segue into the whole "lets hang out again" convo, but here's the thing, when you live in a new place where you don't really know anyone and you don't have built-in friends to introduce you to their friends and so on, those natural social situations aren't as readily available. Thus enters Banker Boy.

Yes, Banker Boy, my first and ridiculously confusing attempt at friend making. It goes a little like this:

I enter new bank to open some accounts.
I am welcomed into a cube by the very tall, sorta cute, mid-20's Banker Boy.
I become acutely aware that what I thought was a Jennifer Aniston undone chic outfit really just makes me look like frump girl who still eats ramen noodles, watches SATC dvd's on my Friday nights and forgot to put on deodorant (not an accurate description of me. at all.)

(What I think I look like)

(What Banker Boy thinks I look like)

Banker Boy begins friendly small talk and learns I just moved to the area.
I make awkward remark along the lines of, "yeah, now I just need some friends, ha." (ohmygosh, who am I?!)
Banker Boy responds with, "Yeah its hard for me to find people to go out with. All of my friends seem to be married and don't want to do anything."
I begin an internal panic. Is this an invitation to be friends? Is he hinting to me? Can I solicit hanging out with a boy without it sounding like I'm hitting on him? Is this how this shit works?!?!

Awful. Just awful. I had NO IDEA if that was the moment I should've suggested we hang out sometime. I didn't want to date him, I just want some friends dammit! Can you suggest hanging out to a guy without him immediately assuming it will be a one-on-one couch make-out sesh with the movie he supposedly came over to watch playing in the background?? Needless to say I let the moment pass, collected my newly minted account info and hauled ass outta there. Friendless.

I over thought it. I admit it. I would really prefer it to be like it was back in the day when you walked up to the kid at the playground and just laid it all out there. "Hey. Wanna be my friend?"

 Maybe I'll try that approach next time.