I've never felt closer to being an Eskimo in my entire life. I just managed to dig myself out of the 16 INCHES of snow we got over the weekend.
I've never missed covered parking so much in my life! It was like the Snow Miser sharted all over Hans. (yes, my car is named Hans. Judge if you must.)
If only you all could have had a front row seat to me scraping my car for the first time in probably 4-5 years. It was some hood rat shit.
First, you can only be so fly with your dress pants fully tucked into snow boots. Second, I could only find one glove and let me tell you, it wasn't the right one. In both senses of the word. So there I am, in single digit weather straight Michael Jackson style with one glove on, trying to scrape my car left handed.
I am right handed.
I am not ambidextrous.
This was a friggin' nightmare.
This is a boring story, so I don't want to be long winded - lets just say the story ends with a sweatshirt I found in my trunk MacGyvered around my right hand and I may or may not have frostbite in my thumb.
Snow is bullshit.
In more important news, as of late I cannot think of a single thing to post about, hence why my first post in ages is about scraping a car.
I feel like I just sucked out all your brain waves like Jim Carey in Batman Forever.