Wednesday, December 19, 2012

By All Means, Please, MOVE SLOWER

I was taunted by an old woman last night. 
No seriously.
My friends and I were trying to leave a restaurant after a FABulous girls night and a flock of elderly people were blocking the entire doorway. 
They were saying their goodbyes, so we waited patiently behind them thinking it'd all be over soon.
It was not over soon.
This woman was saying goodbye to every.single.friend. at the speed of smell.
Once again, while blocking the ONLY exit. 
AND she knew what she was doing. With every hug she gave us a taunting look over the shoulders of her embraced companion. 
She was essentially saying "Eff off" to us with her eyes.

You can only mean-mug me so many times before I have enough. I have respect for my elders, but at that point it was time to crowd walk our asses through them.
You know the crowd walk - the one where you find even the smallest opening and shove yourself through it while saying excuse me so you feel like you're not a total asshole. 
Yeah. I'll admit it. I crowd-walked through a mob of geriatrics. Sue me.
Someone had to take matters into their own hands or that sassy blue-hair would've had us standing at that exit for 45 minutes and I had had 2 glasses of wine which is the equivalent to a hefty dose of NyQuil to me on a Tuesday night. 
It was time to go.
To my credit you could've driven a mack truck the opening I found, so not a single senior citizen was even touched let alone shoved. Even I have limits.

There is a BIG difference between being elderly and just being rude. 
Besides, it was like, totally a fire hazard. I was simply acting on survival instincts. :)



  1. HAHA!! I fire hazard!!! lol!!
    That was pretty rude of her, especially when she noticed you guys there waiting for her!

  2. Hey you did the right thing and you where polite about it! so you go girl! Glad u had a great girls night!!

  3. I am dying hahahahahaha you have the craziest things happen to you!